There's been a metamorphosis for me already, during this week in preparation for my travels.  There was a sense of stepping into the week of the one where I am leaving, once I stepped into Monday.  I had arranged my work schedule so that I would have all of Thursday (yesterday) and Friday (today) dedicated to wrapping up details.  So, by Wednesday at the end of my teaching day, there was a definite sense of stepping into these last couple of days before I leave.  And yesterday was different than today, and this evening is different than this morning.  Tomorrow, the only thing I will be doing all day is waking up, putting all of my stuff into the car, bidding my everything-regular a heart-felt parting, and beginning the physical part of my journey.  I hope for sleep this evening and even though I'm nearly at a point of not having anything more to do, there are still tasks to be keeping me busy.

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings heading into this first part of my experience, where I will be traveling on my own and needing to find my way around.  I've prepared quite a bit and have printed some important papers out, and I've already gotten my way through the withdrawals of realizing I would not have access to my phone as readily as I am used to in my everyday life.  I realized that I will need to get back into touch with other forms of 'old school' navigations ... including internal forms.  I remember those days, they weren't very long ago.

What predominates my thoughts right now though, and what grows in clarification, is in realizing that this is something that I have to do, it is something that I deeply feel as 'right' in my experience.  It's been so long-awaited, and I had started thinking it might never happen, that there was a sense of already having lived out a life that didn't include it.  It's as though I could already see to the far end of that one.  If I were to be very honest, though I have many blessings in my life, I resented that.  What this all means to me, even if I come back and my life looks remarkably the same as when I left, it will be an entirely different life internally.  It will be as if I am starting a new life, and one that doesn't include having never done what I am about to do.

So, on we go ... with love and courage :).