Saturday, June 30, 2012

I had an image to upload, but can't seem to do that from only my phone at the time. I've taken my first, short flight from Medford to Portland, and I have a little time in Portland before heading to Amsterdam next. It was tear-jerking to part and I felt a bit overcome on the way to the airport that it was all really happening and that I'd be taking the first step in so little time. But, I felt myself relax into the journey as I sat on the plane, waiting to leave, and then moreso about 10 or 15 minutes in. It's a bit scary and there's a large element of feeling the unknown, but I realized again that this is what I've felt called to do, I've been preparing for it as a person (and as a musician) for years, and I've even felt a sense of pregnancy with the need for this stored growth to be utilized more fully. Basically, I realized, I could either be doing this (and overcoming the fear, and growing) or just not doing it - and I know what that latter one feels like.

I emptied about 15 lbs from my one suitcase at check in; we opened it up and put items on the scale to see how much I was taking out. The woman was extremely helpful and genuinely kind, and even commented about feeling happy for me to be stepping out like this. Thank you to all :).

Friday, June 29, 2012

There's been a metamorphosis for me already, during this week in preparation for my travels.  There was a sense of stepping into the week of the one where I am leaving, once I stepped into Monday.  I had arranged my work schedule so that I would have all of Thursday (yesterday) and Friday (today) dedicated to wrapping up details.  So, by Wednesday at the end of my teaching day, there was a definite sense of stepping into these last couple of days before I leave.  And yesterday was different than today, and this evening is different than this morning.  Tomorrow, the only thing I will be doing all day is waking up, putting all of my stuff into the car, bidding my everything-regular a heart-felt parting, and beginning the physical part of my journey.  I hope for sleep this evening and even though I'm nearly at a point of not having anything more to do, there are still tasks to be keeping me busy.

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings heading into this first part of my experience, where I will be traveling on my own and needing to find my way around.  I've prepared quite a bit and have printed some important papers out, and I've already gotten my way through the withdrawals of realizing I would not have access to my phone as readily as I am used to in my everyday life.  I realized that I will need to get back into touch with other forms of 'old school' navigations ... including internal forms.  I remember those days, they weren't very long ago.

What predominates my thoughts right now though, and what grows in clarification, is in realizing that this is something that I have to do, it is something that I deeply feel as 'right' in my experience.  It's been so long-awaited, and I had started thinking it might never happen, that there was a sense of already having lived out a life that didn't include it.  It's as though I could already see to the far end of that one.  If I were to be very honest, though I have many blessings in my life, I resented that.  What this all means to me, even if I come back and my life looks remarkably the same as when I left, it will be an entirely different life internally.  It will be as if I am starting a new life, and one that doesn't include having never done what I am about to do.

So, on we go ... with love and courage :).

Thursday, June 28, 2012


On a walk, near our house.
My first post, made in the remaining 36 hours before I leave for one of the biggest adventures of my life, and truly a dream come true.  To tell you a little bit about what I'm doing for the next month, and what it means for me, let me say that for most of my life I've had a deep desire to travel Internationally, and to be immersed in a historical, musical environment.


I am grateful to the many loving people who have supported in various ways my first endeavor of this kind, and who have played some part in making this possible at a time which seems the least likely for it to happen.  I will be flying into Munich Germany, arriving there on Sunday, July 1st after about 16 hours of travel by plane.  There, I will hop onto an S-Bahn (a quick train) for about a 5 hour journey that will take me to Vienna, Austria ... also known as the music capital of the world.  I will have a very budget experience from July 1st to July 5th, of soaking in a very musically powered city of over 1.7 million people (compared to the roughly 21 thousand in my hometown), where many of the greatest Classical Composers and musicians who ever lived voyaged at one time or another in their own lives.

In Vienna I will visit as many historical sites as I possibly can and I hope to have the chance to actually live, in some small way, what I have only read about before and have longed to someday live.  From there, I will be traveling by train to Innsbruck, Austria, where I will be picked up by a friend and we will drive to the Schlern International Music Festival in Völs am Schlern, Italy, where I will be for 3 weeks, studying and performing.  During my time at the Festival, participants will also take a day trip to Salzburg, Austria, and possibly to Vennice, Italy.  

I can't say that I really know what actually awaits me, but with deep gratitude I hope to bring you with me on this important musical and personal journey.